


Fairy Bread

by Anorlost



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: AU, Bakery, Fae & Fairies, Gingerpilot, M/M, Sloppy Makeouts, Travel blogger poe, fussy fairy hux, paperclips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-08
Updated: 2019-03-08
Packaged: 2019-11-13 15:48:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18034559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anorlost/pseuds/Anorlost
Summary: Poe really shouldn't have stolen that cookie (even if it was broken.)How was he supposed to know thieves got trapped in a fairy's domain/bakery until they could pay up!?  Either way, Hux isn't impressed.





	Fairy Bread

**Author's Note:**

> This was a weird idea I had, St. Patrick's day is coming up, so have some Irish mythology, delicious cakes and a bit of crack. 
> 
> I haven't abandoned Kylux, just trying something new.

The locals all had their legends in each little town Poe visited about fairies.  Most of them involved people disappearing or stumbling on a fairy party and going home only to realize that a hundred years had passed.  All the usual quaint stuff that they probably told every backpacker who came through town. 

Poe never expected that he would wind up at the mercy of one. 

The thing was, the guy had looked completely normal.  Poe had walked into this little bakery on this nice little walking trail and glanced at the guy behind the counter.  He seemed normal, at least by Irish standards; tall, lanky, red haired and extremely pale.  So Poe had walked in, took a look around behind a few shelves and was immediately overwhelmed by the tempting smell of freshly baked bread.  He was pretty hungry, and unfortunately he’d left his wallet back at the hostel, but there was a lot of bread and cookies.  There was so much that the baker was probably going to throw most of it out at the end of the day.  He probably wouldn’t miss just one little piece of shortbread. 

Now, Poe wasn’t a thief.  He didn’t make a habit of shoplifting, but really places like this should have a try-before-you-buy policy.  Or free samples.  It wasn’t as if he’d was killing the guy’s business.  One little cookie wasn’t going to hurt anyone, and the one he’d picked was broken anyways.  He’d write about the place on his blog and send more tourists out that way, so things would all even out eventually. 

That was what he had thought.  After making his way to the door, Poe found it was locked.  He could have sworn it was a push door when he’d gone in, so now he was sure he was supposed to pull.  He gave it another pull and push just to make certain.  The guy at the counter glanced up, glaring over at him.  Poe laughed slightly and said, “Hey, uh, I think your door’s a bit sticky.” 

“It isn’t sticky, thief,” replied the man, arching one immaculately kept brow. 

“Look, I’m not a thief, but your door is definitely stuck,” said Poe. 

“It’s not stuck, you’re a thief,” corrected the man.  “If you weren’t a thief, it would open.” 

“Dude, come on,” said Poe.  “Stop pulling my leg.” 

“You’ll find I don’t joke or pull legs.  Approach,” said the man, waving Poe over. 

Weird, but not the weirdest Poe had seen on his travels.  He approached the counter and noticed there was something odd about the guy.  His ears were ever so slightly pointed and his eyes seemed a bit brighter than normal.  Poe had seen green eyes before, but this guy’s eyes seemed to glow like traffic lights. 

He looked Poe over and said, “It’s a sort of built in security system.  Anyone who tries to take anything from my property without compensation can’t leave.  So, tell me what you took and I’ll ring you through so you can leave.” 

His hand hovered over the cash register, ready to punch in an order.  Poe shook his head and realizing he’d been caught said, “Look, I’m really sorry.  I was hungry and forgot my wallet.  I only ate a broken one so, maybe you could let me off just this once?” 

Trying to lay the charm on thick, Poe leaned in with one arm on the counter, looking the guy right in the eyes.  The redhead didn’t even flinch.  Instead he looked annoyed, saying, “That’s not going to work.  You need to pay or you can’t leave.  Those are the rules.” 

“Dude, you can’t keep me here.  I’m sorry about the cookie, but you really can’t detain people against their will,” said Poe more defensively. 

“We aren’t playing by _human_ rules,” said the man in an icy tone.  “In a place owned by a _Sidhe_ you must provide compensation for what you take.  Otherwise you can’t leave.”

There were only two reasonable explanations for someone saying something so outlandish.  Either this guy was crazy, or he was telling the truth, meaning Poe was stuck with a malevolent fairy or a lunatic who only thought he was a malevolent fairy.  In any case Poe did not want to be locked in a room with him.  The man sighed and leaned back, jerking his thumb towards a door, “The toilets are in there.  In the men’s room there’s a small window that’s been opened to air it out after cleaning.  Go ahead and try to stick your hand through it.  I’ll wait.” 

Poe glanced at the door.  He couldn’t understand what was written on it, but the little silhouettes of a blue man and a red woman told him all he needed to know.  All he had to do was check the window and make sure that this guy didn’t try to sneak up on him. 

The door opened with a slight creak and Poe immediately detected the smell of bleach.  Looking around he went to the men’s room and the bleach smell got a bit stronger.  It was a single stall with a toilet and sink, with the window open just like the guy had said.  It was actually much bigger than Poe had anticipated.  If he got his foot up on the sink and opened the window a little bit he might actually be able to make a clean getaway… 

Trying to place his hand around the opened frame Poe’s hand stopped.  He hadn’t hit any sort of barrier, he couldn’t feel anything, but any attempt to jab his fingers past the open window were in vain. 

“This is some serious twilight-zone level shit…” Poe mumbled to himself. 

“See, I wasn’t lying.  Come on out of there and let’s see if we can’t sort this out,” said the guy.  Poe turned and saw him looking on from the doorway with disapproval.  He waved, curling and uncurling his fingers in a beckoning motion before going back to the counter. 

Poe swallowed on nothing.  Obviously he’d been wrong to take the cookie, even if it was a broken one, but he didn’t deserved to be trapped for all eternity with some weird fairy creature.  What had the locals said about them?  They weren’t demons or even evil necessarily, but that they sometimes caused trouble.  Maybe this guy was one of the nicer ones. 

“Right, you said you don’t have any money.  Unfortunately letting you out without compensation would be like turning off gravity; it’s not in my power,” explained the guy.  “I’m just as bound by Sidhe laws as you are.” 

“Yeah…” said Poe, watching the guy attentively. 

“So, if you provide me with something else, something with enough value, then you should be able to walk away from here without a problem,” concluded the guy. 

“Uh, right, let me see what I’ve got on me…” said Poe, patting down his jacket and pants pockets.  “I’m Poe Dameron by the way, I run a travel blog.” 

“That’s nice,” said the man. 

“Well, your turn, what’s your name?” asked Poe. 

“We don’t give our real names to humans, it never ends well.  Call me Hux,” said the man. 

Hux looked him over, appraising him, “I’m afraid I can’t take any of your clothing.  I don’t think I could resell them.”  His eyes glittered for a moment and his pupils got wide like a cat who just spotted a ball of yarn.  “Jewellery works though.” 

Poe’s hand automatically shot to where his mother’s ring hung around his neck.  He clicked his tongue chidingly at the guy- fairy- person, and shook his head, “Not going to happen.  I’m saving this for a special someone and I don’t think you’re the person who’s meant to receive it.” 

“Then I hope you have something else, or you’re going to be stuck here,” said Hux, still looking Poe over for something he might be able to take. 

“Sir you are in luck, for here in my pocket I’ve found a wonderful invention designed to keep important documents together for safe-keeping,” declared Poe.  Grinning he drew it from his pocket and slid it across the counter towards Hux. 

Hux glared at him, “A paperclip.” 

“I gave you something, and now I can leave,” said Poe. 

“So you think your paperclip is worth the raw materials I used, my oven, the electricity to run my oven, my labour and my time?” asked Hux. 

“Maybe?” guessed Poe. 

“Try again, human,” said Hux, glowering as he leaned forward. 

Poe dug through his pocket again and exclaimed, “Oh, wait!  I think I’ve got something here.”  He grinned as he slid his discovery across the counter.  Wiggling his eyebrows suggestively he purred, “ _Two_ paperclips.” 

“Look, don’t you have a bus pass or something with currency charged on it?” offered Hux.  “Because my time is worth more than two paperclips!” 

“Dude, I don’t know what to tell you!  I don’t have my wallet, my pockets are empty, I’m sure as hell not giving you my mother’s ring, so unless you accept pocket lint and dandruff I’m out of ideas,” said Poe, heaving a sigh when he finished his rant.  “What if I promised my first born child, Rumpelstiltskin?” 

“I don’t like children, and who’s to say you’ll even have biological children?  You might be saying that because you know you’re going to adopt.  Humans are always thinking of how to outsmart a bargain,” argued Hux. "And don't call me Rumpelstiltskin.  None of us like him."  

“Well, then that’s it, I’ve got nothing else I can offer,” said Poe. 

“There’s only one thing for it then.  If you can’t pay it off, you have to work it off,” said Hux.  “If you help me make some shortbreads that should square it.” 

“…how long does that take?” asked Poe. 

“Not long.  Mixing the dough takes a few minutes, then it needs to be cut, the baking itself takes ten, fifteen minutes and then it needs to set properly, so that takes another ten,” explained Hux. 

“Uh, hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that’s not going to work,” said Poe. 

Hux glared daggers at him again, “And why not?” 

“Because my bus is leaving in an hour.  I need to get off this trail, grab my stuff and get to the station or I’ll miss all of my connections, be stuck here for another day and have to re-book all my hotels and hostels,” explained Poe.  “I’ve got to be out of here in ten, fifteen at the most.” 

An unsettled feeling shot up Poe’s spine as Hux actually grinned, “A fitting punishment for a thief.  Maybe you’ll learn your lesson.” 

“Dude, it was one cookie, and it was broken,” said Poe.  He looked around, “Okay, so let’s be super generous and say that it was worth one or two euro tops.  Minimum wage should be fifteen bucks an hour, but let’s lowball it and say it’s about ten.  So maybe I tidy up around here, sweep the floors for ten minutes and then I can go.” 

“I already cleaned!” snapped Hux, waving his hand around the immaculately kept shop.  “So you’re a thief _and_ you’re being lazy.” 

“How lazy can I be, hauling my ass up this god-forsaken trail and stumbling into your tacky shop?” asked Poe. 

The word tacky seemed to irk Hux, his eyes flashing once again as he leaned back and walked around the counter.  Poe hadn’t quite realized how tall Hux was until the fairy was leaning over him and growling, “I’m sure you’ll come to like it, since you’ll be trapped here for quite some time.  Even tacky things can grow on you.  Consider my offer to let you work off your debt revoked.” 

It suddenly dawned on Poe that he’d just made an enemy of the one person who could make sure he stayed trapped for hours.  If not centuries.  Memories of local stories of people who had disappeared and returned hundreds of years later fluttered through his mind as Hux stormed from behind his counter and into the kitchen.  Could Hux have been the person who had trapped them for centuries?  Were fairies really that petty? 

Poe gently knocked on the kitchen door and asked, “Hux?  Uh… I didn’t mean it?  I’m okay with doing the baking if you want.” 

No response. 

“I don’t mind being a bit late.  Sure it’s a pain in the ass, but… you know cops will come looking for me and you can’t keep people locked up against their will,” said Poe.  “Just saying.” 

“ _I’m_ not doing anything, thieves can’t leave.  Those are the rules,” Hux called back.  “You might as well ask me to make the earth turn in the other direction.” 

“Come on, please let me work it off?” pleaded Poe.  “Pretty please?” 

“No.” 

If ‘pretty please’ wasn’t going to work then he would need a new tactic.  “I mean, you don’t want me in your shop forever, do you?  It would be just you and me in here for hours or days and I don’t think you’d like that very much.” 

He just needed Hux to open the door.  He didn’t think the fairy was going to give him a second chance, but if Hux opened the door then he could move on to phase two of his plan.  Asking nicely wasn’t going to work.  Looking around, Poe knew he probably couldn’t persuade a stubborn fairy to let him work of his debt.  He’d just have to give something to Hux of equal or greater value than what he took and he certainly knew he could do that. 

“I think I might have something for you,” offered Poe. 

“If it’s another paperclip I’m not letting you out for a millennia.” 

“It’s not a paperclip,” said Poe. 

Slowly and hesitantly, Hux pried the door open and looked down at Poe, arms crossed and scowling.  Poe looked Hux in the eye and said, “I’ve got something for you, but you need to come in a bit closer.” 

Hux’s red brow arched and his green eyes regarded Poe with suspicion.  He kept his arms crossed and his posture guarded as he stepped from behind the door.  All in all Hux wasn’t bad looking, not really the more muscular type that Poe usually went for, but not ugly.  He had a sort of waifish, ethereal thing going for him.  In fact he was so pretty it was easy to ignore the way his canine teeth seemed a bit too long, or his ears having the slightest tips at the end, or the way his eyes actually glowed when he was angry or interested.

“Okay, so, I think I thought of something that has value that you might like and I can do and it'll only take a few minutes,” said Poe. 

“Well, what is it?  You’re wasting my time, human,” said Hux. 

The way Poe saw it, this was the only option.  Prostitutes got paid way, way more than minimum wage and if he could get Hux off in less than ten minutes then he’d be able to make it back to town in time.  Hoping that Hux wasn’t carrying a knife, he reached up and grabbed the fairy, kissing him full on the mouth. 

Poe expected Hux to panic.  He hadn’t been given any warning and Poe hadn’t asked if he wanted to be kissed or not… actually, when he thought about it like that, it was a pretty shitty thing to do even if the fairy was kind of a jerk.  Hux’s arms flailed wildly as he struggled to uncross them and get them free while Poe tried to guide him towards the counter. 

This, like everything else Poe had tried that day, failed spectacularly.  Tripping over Hux’s long legs as he tried to turn, they were both sent sprawling on the floor.  Poe landed on top of Hux, still kissing him and hoping that maybe the fairy was enjoying at least a little of what was happening.  He tried to ask in the sexiest voice he could, “So, is this of any value to you?” 

Hux gasped and fought for breath, struggling to brace himself with his arms or legs.  Poe put his hand on Hux’s hip, not going any further, just letting the fairy know where his hand was.  He asked huskily, “I know how to do it without making a mess.  How about it?”

“That’s unsanitary!  Get off of me this instant!” snapped Hux, pounding his fists lightly against Poe’s chest.  The fairy hit like a little kid who’d never been taught to throw a proper punch…

“You sure?  You get a lot of attention living by yourself in the middle of nowhere?  Seems pretty lonely…” said Poe.  “Sure you don’t even want a kiss?  Not even a little cuddling?  Did you know that they have professional cuddlers for lonely people these days?” 

It occurred to Poe that Hux was hitting him way too lightly for an adult man.  Even with Hux’s thin limbs he ought to have been able to muster a little more force than a few pathetic swats.  His face was bright red, clashing with his orange hair as he turned away like some heroine straight out of a bodice-ripper.  Poe offered a little more gently, “How about it?  We’ll only take it as far as you want to go.” 

“You’re perfectly horrid…” panted Hux, who had given up on hitting and lay back on the floor.  “I’m only letting you so you’ll get out and never come back.” 

Poe was a firm believer in enthusiastic consent and would have much preferred a ‘yes’ followed by instructions.  While Hux hadn’t said no, ‘I’m doing this so you’ll leave,’ was far from a willing answer.  Hux’s body language was giving a lot of mixed signals as well, with eyes clenched shut and turning away being firmly in the ‘no’ camp, but moving his arms out of the way and baring his throat seeming to be a ‘yes.’  It was true that Poe had started this and got the jump on Hux, he definitely didn’t want to go further if the fairy was just going to lie back and metaphorically think of England. 

“Well, go on, ravish me you brute,” stammered Hux, a command that continued to give Poe very mixed signals as the fairy tossed his hair to expose his neck.  “Have your filthy human way with me.” 

“Which means…?” began Poe, who wasn’t going to start anything unless Hux either gave a clear yes or clear instructions. 

“This isn’t humiliating enough?  Don’t make me say it, human,” huffed Hux, peaking up at Poe before squeezing his eyes shut again.  “So, go on, do your worst!”

“So you want me to kiss you?” asked Poe, trying to get just a little confirmation. 

“If I must!” cried Hux, peaking at Poe again before dramatically throwing his arm over his eyes.    

So that was a ‘yes.’  It was just a really strange, uptight ‘yes’ that he probably would have negotiated beforehand.  Either Hux was super repressed or… 

Hux let out a whimper, thrusting his chest out and tossing an arm over his eyes and... maybe Hux _was_ serious about wanting to be ravished.  Hux was old, like, older than Poe’s grandmother, and probably got his notions about being romanced from old problematic tropes where the only proper way to respond to a proposition was to say, ‘unhand me you fiend!’  In that context Hux’s confrontational words combined with body language that screamed to be taken made a strange amount of sense. 

So if Hux wanted an old fashioned ravishing from an _extremely_ problematic rogue, Poe supposed that was what he ought to do if he ever wanted to get out of this place. 

Roughly, Poe pinned Hux’s arms over his head.  The fairy’s eyes were flashing again and Poe could have sworn he had seen a grin before Hux returned to pouting and acting humiliated.  Poe wasn’t holding him down with any force and Hux could have easily broken away if he really wanted to.  Evidence was definitely piling up in favor of at least some of Hux’s behaviour being a front. 

Shifting his hands, Poe laced their fingers together and leaned in for a kiss.  Just a few minutes of making-out.  Hux wasn’t very good at communicating what he wanted so Poe figured he’d draw the line at kissing unless Hux explicitly told him to go further than that.  It felt weird to kiss a mouth that was drawn up tight and refusing to let him in despite encouraging licks and nips.  Maybe Poe had read the situation all wrong after all. 

Pulling back, Hux squeezed his hands tightly so he could draw Poe back in.  So he wasn’t going to kiss back but clearly didn’t want Poe to stop.  Pulling back again, Poe panted, “It’s more fun if you kiss me too.” 

“Why would I want to kiss a thief?” demanded Hux haughtily. 

“Because I can give you better kisses if you’re willing to work with me,” suggested Poe.  “Or we could go back to the paperclips.” 

“I don’t see why I should help at all since this was your suggestion to pay for your misdeed,” huffed Hux.  “And I’m not a floozy who can be bought with cheap stationary!” 

He let go of Hux’s wrists and let his hands wander.  It was a bit underhanded but Hux wasn’t going to help him out at all.  He ground his hips a little bit, just enough to get Hux to gasp a little so Poe could slip his tongue past the fairy’s teeth and lips. 

Hux felt a bit different from anyone else he’d kissed.  Poe wasn’t sure how exactly to describe it but Hux just felt lighter.  Not because he was skinny, it was something about the taste and texture of him.  His hair was silky too, and the feeling of those pointed teeth and ears was a novelty.  When Poe broke the kiss he couldn’t help kissing and nipping the pointed tip of Hux’s ear. 

“Ah, d-don’t bite that…” moaned Hux, pulling Poe’s face closer. 

Poe licked along the shell of it and Hux offered no further objections.  The fairy did however reach up to play with the gold ring around Poe’s neck.  Cautious, making sure Hux wouldn’t snap it off the chain and run off, Poe allowed him to continue.  “You like sparkly stuff?” 

“Love it,” said Hux, catching his breath.  He toyed with the necklace again, twisting the ring on the chain, absolutely fascinated by it.  If Poe had known he’d run into a guy with a thing for sparkles he would have packed some glitter.  Hux grinned slightly, seeming to have forgotten the world around him as he marveled with widening green eyes, “Pretty…” 

Poe decided he’d better kiss Hux again before the fairy got too attached to the ring.  He was also finally able to figure out what Hux reminded him off.  The way his skin felt and tasted it reminded Poe of whipped creams and fluffy mousses, the kinds of sweets that seemed lighter than they tasted and were dangerously easy to binge on. 

Letting his hands wander further down Poe gripped the fairy’s ass, drawing what sounded like a genuine whimper from Hux.  He asked quietly, “Too far?  Want to stop?” 

“I suppose you have to.  What time was your bus?” asked Hux, checking his watch before turning his arm so Poe could look at it. 

Seeing that a half an hour had passed Poe’s hands shot to the top of his head as his eyes widened and he let out a long and loud, “Shit!  How did that much time pass!?” 

“No need to curse…” grumbled Hux.  “Humans lose track of time when they kiss me.  Call it a quirk.” 

“Shit, shit, shit!” exclaimed Poe, rising to his feet.  “If I run I can make it!” 

“Relax, I’ll drive you,” said Hux irately. 

“You have a car?” asked Poe, looking Hux over suspiciously.  “Fairies can have cars?” 

The fairy regarded him with disappointment from the floor, “It’s the twenty-first century, everyone has a car!” 

Poe held out a hand, realizing that he’d left Hux on the floor.  He grimaced slightly as he admitted, “If you’re willing to give me a ride I could really use a lift… if you’re not mad.” 

“Give me a second to take this apron off.  Behind the counter there’s a box of broken cookies and breads that came out a little misshapen.  Help yourself, I’m sure you’ll want something on the bus,” said Hux as he rose to his feet and dusted himself off. 

“Wait, _now_ I’m allowed to have free stuff!?” asked Poe incredulously. 

“You need to provide compensation for what you _take_.  Gifts and free samples on the other hand are mine to give out as I see fit,” replied Hux.  He looked down at Poe sternly, “If you wanted to try something and had asked me nicely, I could have given you the cookie and I wouldn’t have had to debase myself.  I hope you’ve learned your lesson, human.” 

“Yes, but then I wouldn’t have kissed you,” offered Poe.  “And I think someone has definitely fantasized about a bad boy barging in and roughing him up a bit.  You know that’s really something you should discuss and plan out beforehand.  Maybe even use a safe-word.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Hux deadpanned as he walked back to the kitchen, definitely giving his hips a little sway as he tossed his hair.  Once he’d made sure Poe had definitely seen him do that he gave a huff and stormed into the kitchen.    

“Right…” said Poe.  Picking through the little basket of samples he picked out a few of the shortbreads, sugar cookies and a cinnamon roll that had definitely gotten a bit mashed up.  Pocketing everything he’d picked, it seemed he was actually going to come out of this brush with the supernatural unharmed.

One thing was certain, he was definitely going to ask for samples from now on.  No more stealing broken bits and having to kiss his way out of trouble… 

…unless the shop owner was cute and a little bit fussy. 


End file.
